Friday, September 14, 2012

November 2009: The Shower

Now that the couple was chosen, everything was going great! I was on an emotional and spiritual high for a while. I think we all were.We were happy, and felt like a huge burden had been lifted. CJ was relieved that she knew where her baby was going to go, and she felt that it was right. Mr. and Mrs. Awesome called and/or texted CJ everyday. At the time, I thought it was great that they wanted to get to know her, and keep in touch. I never even thought about how Mr. and Mrs. Awesome might be feeling. I didn't realize that they might be scared or worried about her changing her mind. I didn't think about the fact that they might have had some potential adoptions fall through in the past, which caused them much pain, and could have made them a little gun-shy. To us, it was a done-deal from the night CJ announced to them.

While CJ was attending her group therapy sessions at the adoption agency, I had been attending a birth-grandma group there, too. That group helped me so much in coping when I was so conflicted and confused and overwhelmed. It was great to talk to other mothers whose daughters were pregnant and placing for adoption. It was nice to know they were having all the same feelings and emotions I was having. It was a safe place to cry and get angry if I felt like it. Everyone supported each other's feelings and emotions. It was especially nice to hear from some of the mothers whose daughters had already placed their babies, and hear that everything turned out okay, and life went on for their family. In one of those group sessions, I heard about someone who had had a shower for the adoptive mother. I decided I really wanted to have a shower for Mrs. Awesome at our house. I was so excited for that shower! I was still on cloud-nine from choosing the couple, and now I wanted to do this for them.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Awesome had lots and lots of family and friends that lived in our area, so there would be plenty of people to come to it. Mrs. Awesome just had to let me know which friends and relatives to invite, and then fly up to attend. Mrs. Awesome ended up inviting around 50 people! I was wondering where I would put everyone, because I had also invited my sisters/sis-in-laws, nieces and close friends, plus my own daughters. CJ and I tied a little quilt for the baby, with the help of my sister-in-law and some of my nieces. My oldest daughter crocheted a beautiful baby afghan (her first ever!). She didn't tell me she was making it, and I was so touched when I saw it. She later made another one for CJ to keep.

About 40 people ended up being at the shower. It was crazy trying to fit all of them in my house, in one room! One thing that I didn't think about was how left-out my daughter might feel, since the gifts were for a baby she wasn't keeping, which meant they were basically for Mrs. Awesome. She was a trooper, as usual, though. Mrs. Awesome was her usual kind and thoughtful self, so she had CJ open every other gift, but I know it might still have been a little difficult for CJ. I think she still had a good time though, and I know Mrs. Awesome appreciated and enjoyed it very much. My family and close friends got to meet Mr. and Mrs. Awesome that day, and that meant a lot to me.

The more we got to know Mr. and Mrs. Awesome, the more we loved them. We felt so comfortable with them from the moment they became the adoptive parents. We told them that they were now members of our family, and they treated us like their own family, too. This bond has become stronger and stronger over time.

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