Sunday, May 26, 2013

Birth Mother's Day

The Saturday before Mother's Day has been designated as Birth Mother's Day. I didn't know this until my daughter became a birth mom, and informed me, on the first Mother's Day weekend after the birth, that I should be honoring her. Of course I honor her in my heart every day for her unselfish decision, but I also try to let her know, on that day, how much I do honor her strength and courage as a birth mom. I am proud of her always and always!

This year on Mother's Day weekend, we all took a little mini-trip together. My oldest daughter and her husband live about 6 hours away from us. The rest of us packed up and went to stay in my husband's hometown, just 2 hours from them, so we could all meet there and be together for Mother's day.

On Saturday, Birth Mother's Day, CJ received a text from her roommate telling her that an edible bouquet (the kind with fruit pieces on sticks in a vase, to look like a flower arrangement) was delivered to her apartment. It was from Angel (with the help of Mrs. Awesome, of course).

We both got tears in our eyes when we found out what the card said:

"Thank you for ME, and for bringing me to my mommy and daddy. Love, Angel"

She's starting to understand already.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

The Legacy of a Child in an Open Adoption (LOVE this poem)

The Legacy of a Child in an Open Adoption
  By Brenda Romanchick

Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.
As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give you all you needed after
your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.

One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.

They looked into each other’s eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your Birthmom loved and cared for you.

They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.

So now you have two families,
One by birth, the other by adoption.

And you have a home where you can get:
your questions answered,
your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed,
And much needed hugs.

And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions,
your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself,
And much needed hugs.

Two different kinds of families
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you.


Being Grandma

Sorry, I've been such a slacker and haven't posted in several months. I think I've been too into perfectionism, trying to think of the "perfect" thing to post about.

I started this blog for 2 reasons: The first reason was selfish. I needed to write about my experience for my own sanity. I needed to get my feelings down on "paper", so to speak. The second reason was to get the adoption message out there. I hoped that other people would read it and see how positive adoption can be. I hoped to make a difference in someone's life who was considering adoption, both from the birthparent side and the adoptive couple side. I have now had almost 3000 people read my blog since I started it only 8 months ago. I hope I have touched at least one of those person's hearts to help them realize that adoption is truly a loving, and even joyful alternative. Thank you for reading my scattered thoughts and feelings!

About 2 months ago, I asked Mrs. Awesome if I could call Angel once a week. I told her I really want to be more a part of Angel's life. I wanted to establish a habit with her, so that she will know I love her and want to be there for her. I started calling her every Sunday. We usually talk on Google Plus so that we can see each other. My husband, or whoever else is around at the time, joins in with the conversation.

Talking to a 3 year old is not always as fun as it may sound. As many of you probably know firsthand, most 3 year olds are not very good phone conversationists. Angel doesn't say very much when I call her, and when she does I often have a hard time understanding what she said. There can be long periods of silence, or moments when I can't think of anything to say or do so I show her the dog or the cat or something, There was once that she wouldn't even stay in the frame of the computer camera to talk to me, so her parents were literally chasing her around with their laptop to get her to talk to me! It was pretty hilarious. Of course, I don't get hurt or mad when this happens. I understand. I just want her to know that I love her  and care enough to try to keep in contact with her. Hopefully, it will get better as she gets older (hopefully no one has to chase her around to talk to me when she's 16). I look forward to our call all week. I love seeing her cute little face on the screen, even if there's not much quality conversation. I'm grateful that Mrs. Awesome is so supportive of me doing this, and is willing to sit there and help her (and translate her gibberish when I need her to).

Recently, I found out that Mr. and Mrs. Awesome and Angel will be coming here for their family reunions in August, and they have set aside 5 days to just spend time with CJ and with our family! The best part about that though, is that at the exact same time period my own family reunion is happening. I asked them if they would go with us to my family reunion, and they said yes! I am so excited to have my family (my siblings, nieces and nephews) meet Angel and her adoptive family. Most of them haven't met Angel yet. I can't even express how excited this makes me! I can't wait to show her off to EVERYBODY!! We're also going to go camping with them in the same area as the reunion that same weekend. I get butterflies just thinking about it.

I've sent Angel several packages lately, with Easter and St. Patricks day clothes and toys. I also made her a little mini photo album of pictures of her with our family, and just some fun pictures we took of her. Then I bought a frame that holds 2 snapshots, and I put one photo of she and I, and one with my husband and her. I wish I'd taken a picture of it so I could remember what the words were on the frame, but it said something cute. :)